International experience

Hey guys! Everything all right?

I was away for a few days, but now I’m back… I’m not sure what direction to give this blog. Before I thought of doing something cool related to my job, today I think I want it here as a journal. I do not know, I’m confused, I’m Libriana, so I’m hesitant…

Today I decided to post about my international experience. After 32 years I finally went abroad, I did a quick tour through some European countries. All this was very good and very bad at the same time and this is what I will try to explain here.

I’ve always been attached to the family. My family has always come first of all in my life and I think this is not going to change. I could never leave my mother for 10 days to take a trip. I’ve done a few shorter ones and they were a damn dilemma. But and now? I don’t have mother anymore… Last year God was super cool and decided to take her from my side. I swear I thought my purpose in life would be to take care of my mother until she was very old, had to push her in the wheelchair, to have food in her mouth, but I was wrong… I don’t know why God has taken it from me. I don’t know why He allowed her to suffer so much before leaving. There are so many whys without answers…

So on 02/21/2017 I threw everything up and embarked on this adventure. What could happen? Shoot inside the plane? With the medicines I take it would be very difficult for this to happen and nothing that a dose of Italian wine would not solve either. It would take a glass and erase to Rome, where I would get my connection to London.

Everything went as planned, it was a quiet trip, I didn’t have to use alcohol to get on my way and I went on a trip, I arrived in Rome relatively well, but on the 22nd, it was 8 months after my mother left. And where did I go? For the Vatican to see the Pope. The anguish in the chest was so great. I can’t explain the mix of happiness and sadness I felt when I was out of my country, knowing a place that was my dream, but not having the most important person in my life to share with me. When the plug fell the sensation was to have jumped from a huge abyss where it never reached the ground… The sadness was instantaneous. It will be possible? I’m going through a dream and I’m going to suffer so far? Lovers suffer…

I took a deep breath, took one more turn and left for the airport to get the connection to London. I arrived late and went straight to the hotel. I was tired, but that bad feeling always knotted in my head. The next day there was Big Ben, London Eye, Madame Tussauds and Buckingham Palace. On other days Paris, Brussels and Amsterdam. I could n’t shake myself, so I got up, put on the warmer clothes I had, and went around London and the other countries that were in the script. It was a “cool” experience, but everything, absolutely everything, connected with my mother. Seeing and not being able to share… “Ah, but she is always by your side”, “Ah, but she will always be looking for you”, “Ah, but she will always be with you”. SHUT UP! STOP THE MOUTH! Nothing you say will change what I feel, so leave me alone! I’m suffering for a loss, I’m going to continue suffering for this loss and nothing I’m told will change that. As much as everyone is right and I don’t. If it was good advice, we would not sell it.

In short, it was a legal experience. I think I can go all alone on the outside, even though I didn’t go alone. I was able to communicate when it was necessary, I managed to ask, I was able to buy… In every country I was able to find my way, especially when I was in immigration. Questions were answered, doubts were taken. To get out of London I was searched from the top to the bottom for security and she apologized for having to search me. I told her: Don’t worry! Do what you have to do! It’s your job! And it was nice to hear a thank you from her. The people were friendly and receptive and if you can’t form the complete sentence they help you in some way and you communicate. Whoever has mouth goes to Rome, to London, to Toronto, who has mouth goes anywhere.

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